For some time, a few years, I had the impression that I had lost my faith. Every spiritual practice seemed empty and pointless to me. I never stopped believing in God, but I felt there was something missing, that I wasn't able to identify.
I read many books, I talked to people, trying to find that missing piece, to fill the emptiness.
And I found an answer when I had my first encounter with Amma, the hugging saint, during Devi Bhava, in June of last year, in Los Angeles. Amma spoke about devotion, and mentioned that devotion without love in the heart became emtpy and monotonous. When we don't feel love, we disconnect ourselves from God.
I knew that this was the experience I'd been looking for.
As I received Darshan... Deep perfume of roses, a shoulder to rest my head on, a motherly embrace, firm and yet tender at the same time, where I let myself go. Her hand guiding my head to her heart... Her voice in my ear, whispering "my child, my child..." over and over again. A sense of opening... tears coming... her kiss on my cheek. Simple gestures in their form. And an undescribable essence underneath.
Until now, this has been my most complete experience of devotion.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
About the Writing Process
The thought of writing has been in my mind for a while now.
Not surprising, in a way, because it's been months since I even opened this blog, and I feel like I haven't done my homework.
It has been interesting to observe my thoughts and resistances about writing.
In many ways, I have felt like the previous blog entries wrote themselves through me, because I really didn't have to think of a subject to write about. I just noticed fleeting thoughts, followed subtle impulses, and before I knew it, words were just flowing.
Let me clarify that I was at all times conscious while I wrote. I knew what was going on, and I was very much aware of it, but it didn't feel to me like I had to look for a subject, or pay attention to how I wrote.
I just wrote whatever came to mind, so the whole process took only minutes.
After that stage was completed, I'd re read the entry and made a couple of adjustments, like providing more context, or remove a word, phrase or even a paragraph that felt redundant.
I notice now that I got attached to this experience of being in the flow. I was expecting it, but I wasn't really allowing it to happen. And I notice now that I began looking for subjects to write about instead of letting them find me.
I just noticed a word fleeting through my awareness: devotion.
I guess a writing subject just found me....
Not surprising, in a way, because it's been months since I even opened this blog, and I feel like I haven't done my homework.
It has been interesting to observe my thoughts and resistances about writing.
In many ways, I have felt like the previous blog entries wrote themselves through me, because I really didn't have to think of a subject to write about. I just noticed fleeting thoughts, followed subtle impulses, and before I knew it, words were just flowing.
Let me clarify that I was at all times conscious while I wrote. I knew what was going on, and I was very much aware of it, but it didn't feel to me like I had to look for a subject, or pay attention to how I wrote.
I just wrote whatever came to mind, so the whole process took only minutes.
After that stage was completed, I'd re read the entry and made a couple of adjustments, like providing more context, or remove a word, phrase or even a paragraph that felt redundant.
I notice now that I got attached to this experience of being in the flow. I was expecting it, but I wasn't really allowing it to happen. And I notice now that I began looking for subjects to write about instead of letting them find me.
I just noticed a word fleeting through my awareness: devotion.
I guess a writing subject just found me....
Monday, April 6, 2009
Living with Glory
As I get ready to participate in Humanity's Team Oneness Summit 2009, which will take place at Freedom Park, in Pretoria, South Africa, a conversation among Humanity's Team leaders brought the following memory to mind and heart, and I would like to share it with you.
It was the first day of last year's Oneness Summit, in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Miguel Grinberg, one of the keynote speakers, was telling the audience of his visit to a school, where, he said, he witnessed one of the most significant acts of civil disobedience by a group of Argentine teenagers.
He explained that the very last line of the Argentine National Anthem says "Let us pledge to dying with glory". As these kids were singing the National Anthem, they changed it to "Let us pledge to living with glory".
The next day of our Oneness summit, Argentina was celebrating its national holiday, and as per tradition, their National Anthem was played. Jorge Litauer, HT Argentina's Inner Work coordinator, suggested, when announcing the anthem, that people follow Miguel Grinberg's suggestion of singing that last line as those kids had sung it.
I will never forget these hundreds of people singing their anthem while a video paid tribute to the beauty of their country and its cultural traditions. And they pledged to living with glory.
So did I.
It was the first day of last year's Oneness Summit, in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Miguel Grinberg, one of the keynote speakers, was telling the audience of his visit to a school, where, he said, he witnessed one of the most significant acts of civil disobedience by a group of Argentine teenagers.
He explained that the very last line of the Argentine National Anthem says "Let us pledge to dying with glory". As these kids were singing the National Anthem, they changed it to "Let us pledge to living with glory".
The next day of our Oneness summit, Argentina was celebrating its national holiday, and as per tradition, their National Anthem was played. Jorge Litauer, HT Argentina's Inner Work coordinator, suggested, when announcing the anthem, that people follow Miguel Grinberg's suggestion of singing that last line as those kids had sung it.
I will never forget these hundreds of people singing their anthem while a video paid tribute to the beauty of their country and its cultural traditions. And they pledged to living with glory.
So did I.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Looking for the Deeper Meaning
I have been exploring the work of Caroline Myss lately. I like her straightforward, no-nonsense style, and I love that she detects the inconsistencies of the New Age /New Spirituality movement and calls them to our attention.
What I like about her work is that she encourages us to go beyond the literal meaning of things, including the events in our life, so that we discover the symbology behind them.
When I wrote the last entry, "The Original What?", I did it mainly to record an insight that I felt was significant to me.
Little did I know that the entry would make sense to many people too, and that some would feel inspired to re-write prayers learned in their childhood replacing "I have sinned" by "I have forgotten".
This is where Caroline's work comes to mind, because without having read much about her, I realize this is basically what happened.
I got the impulse to look up for a specific word, sin. I realize now that the true whisper was "look for the deeper meaning". When we find a deeper meaning to "sin" and the whole culture that revolves around it, then we realize that we've been coexisting with a piece of wisdom that got covered up by the misperceptions created by our own collective fears.
It is easy to blame the Church or any other cultural tradition for "not getting it", and for misleading people to believe or abide by rules that don't make sense to most people.
But maybe this is the gift they are supposed to give us. Maybe this is the time for us, as individuals, to be in charge of our own progress, to become adults in our spiritual path.
And taking that responsibility implies that everything I choose to believe in will lead to consequences in my present and in my future. And it also means that I choose to stop being a victim and stop relating to others from a victim perspective.
Am I ready?
What I like about her work is that she encourages us to go beyond the literal meaning of things, including the events in our life, so that we discover the symbology behind them.
When I wrote the last entry, "The Original What?", I did it mainly to record an insight that I felt was significant to me.
Little did I know that the entry would make sense to many people too, and that some would feel inspired to re-write prayers learned in their childhood replacing "I have sinned" by "I have forgotten".
This is where Caroline's work comes to mind, because without having read much about her, I realize this is basically what happened.
I got the impulse to look up for a specific word, sin. I realize now that the true whisper was "look for the deeper meaning". When we find a deeper meaning to "sin" and the whole culture that revolves around it, then we realize that we've been coexisting with a piece of wisdom that got covered up by the misperceptions created by our own collective fears.
It is easy to blame the Church or any other cultural tradition for "not getting it", and for misleading people to believe or abide by rules that don't make sense to most people.
But maybe this is the gift they are supposed to give us. Maybe this is the time for us, as individuals, to be in charge of our own progress, to become adults in our spiritual path.
And taking that responsibility implies that everything I choose to believe in will lead to consequences in my present and in my future. And it also means that I choose to stop being a victim and stop relating to others from a victim perspective.
Am I ready?
The Original What?
For some reason, the thought "original sin" appeared in my mind a few days ago. Since I never think of sin, the mere thought of it was enough to get my attention. Immediately after I became aware of the thought, a strong impulse of looking that word up in a dictionary followed.
I went to wikipedia (to look up "pecado", spanish word for "sin") and I found a few definitions.
But here's what really got my attention: according to Wikipedia, the Aramaic word for "sin" had the connotation of... oblivion!
According to Webster's Dictionary, "oblivion" means the state of being completely forgotten. Could that be it?
And if it were so... the original sin would be "what we first forgot"...
What did we forget?
Did we forget that we are not separated from God? Did we forget that the Divine is within? Did we forget that we are all One?
What if the symbolic meaning of baptism was washing away the illusion of separation so that we can experience Oneness?
This is not a treaty on Theology, and I am not claiming that the definition of sin that I am now using is accurate or even correct. Beyond the academic truth of this, which may be debatable, I feel there is truth in that there is something we, the citizens of the world, have completely forgotten.
And maybe our existence is about awakening this very ancient memory: We are all One.
Wow... I can't begin to tell you how liberating this feels for me.
"Father, forgive me for I have sinned" would become "Father forgive me for I have forgotten"... This change of words connects me with what I feel is the spirit of Confession...
"Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death" would become "Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us who have forgotten, now and at the hour of our death"...
It's beautiful!
*Note: This blog entry was originally written on February 27th 2009 on my Humanity's Team Blog, and reposted on Humanity's Team's "Voices of Oneness" blog, on March 5th 2009.
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